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"A FIREFIGHTER'S WISH"
I Wish You Could...
I wish you could see the sadness of a business man
as his livelihood goes up in flames, or that family returning home, only to find their house and belongings damaged or lost
for good.
I wish you could know what it is like to search a burning
bedroom for trapped children, flames rolling above your head, your palms and knees burning as you crawl, the floor sagging
under your weight as the kitchen below you burns.
I wish you could comprehend a wife's horror at 3 a.m.
as I check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring him back, knowing intuitively
it is too late. But wanting his wife and family to know everything possible was done to try to save his life.
I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation,
the taste of soot-filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames crackling, the
eeriness of being able to see absolutely nothing in dense smoke-sensations that I've become too familiar with.
I wish you could understand how it feels to go to work
in the morning after having spent most of the night, hot and soaking wet at a multiple alarm fire.
I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a building
fire "Is this a false alarm or a working fire? How is the building constructed? What hazards await me? Is anyone trapped?"
Or to an EMS call, "What is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life-threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is
he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?"
I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor
pronounces dead the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the past 25 minutes. Who will never
go on her first date or say the words, "I love you Mommy" again.
I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the
cab of the engine or my personal vehicle, the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and
again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic. When you need us however,
your first comment upon our arrival will be, "It took you forever to get here!"
I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate
a girl of teenage years from the remains of her automobile. "What if this was my sister, my girlfriend or a friend? What were
her parents reaction going to be when they opened the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?"
I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back
door and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.
I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally,
and sometimes physically, abuse us or belittle what I do, or as they express their attitudes of "It will never happen to me."
I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and
mental drain or missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have seen.
I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction
of helping save a life or of preserving someone's property, or being able to be there in time of crisis, or creating order
from total chaos.
I wish you could understand what it feels like to have
a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is Mommy okay?" Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your
own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having rescue breathing
done on him as they take him away in the ambulance. You know all along he did not have his seat belt on. A sensation that
I have become too familiar with.
Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will
never truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are, or what our job really means to us...I wish you could though.
�author unknown
"I WANT TO TELL YOU LIES"
I want to tell that little boy his mom will be just fine, I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time,
I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight, I don't want to tell it like it is. I want to tell them lies! You didn't put their seat belts on, you
feel you killed your kids, I want to say you didn't...but in a way, you did. You pound your fists into my chest, you’re
hurting so inside, I want to say you'll be ok. I want to tell you lies! You left chemicals within his reach and now its in his
eyes, I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind, you ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading
in your eyes, I want to say that yes, he will, I want to tell you lies! I can see your crying as your
life goes up in smoke, if you maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke, don’t grab my arm and ask me
if your family is alive, don’t make me tell you they're all dead, I want
to tell you lies! I want to say
she'll be ok, you didn’t take her life, I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt
your wife, you thought you didn't drink too much, you thought you could drive, I don’t want to say how wrong you were,
I want to tell you lies! You only left her for a moment,
it happens all the time, how could she have fell from there? You thought she couldn't climb, I want to say her neck's not
broke, that she will be just fine, I don’t want to say she is paralyzed, I want to tell you lies! I want to tell this teen, his buddies didn’t die in vain, because
he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train. I don’t want to tell him this will haunt him all his life, I
want to say that he will forget, I want to tell him lies! You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun, now you want me to undo the damage that has been done. You tell me she's your only child, you
say she's only five, I don’t want to say she wont see six, I want to tell
you lies! He fell into the pool
when you went to just grab the phone, it was only for a second you left him there alone. If you
let your phone ring perhaps your son would still be alive, But I don’t want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies! The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn, and we couldn’t
get them out of there before the whole thing burned. Did they suffer? Yes they suffered, as they slowly burned alive, but
I don’t want to say those words, I want to tell you lies! But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is
through, and then the real lies begin, when I come home to you. You ask me how my day was, And I say it
was just fine, I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies!
Dedicated to all the Police Officers, Firefighters, EMT'S, Paramedics,
Flight Crews, Physicians and Nurses who deal with the tragedies of life and death.
I WANT TO TELL YOU LIES
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